trillow:

[police officer] “sir are you in possession of any illegal drugs”

“sure thing son whatchu need”

(via orgasm)

popularboyfriend:

guy:

*slides you $20* pls stop ignoring me

hey look a $20 bill

(Source: guy, via unfollovving)

cchopz:

I wish i could do this but my eyelids are really weird and baggy.

mild-bloom:

i dont need a valentine i need 8 million dollars and a fast metabolism

(via sorry)

Thanks for giving up on me
Just like you promised you never would

I should of seen this coming.

vulpixc0re:

I feel sick. Mentally drained

Letting go of someone isn’t something I ever want to have to do again…

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